I get in the lift and there’s a teenage girl already in there, phone in hand, some shitty K-Pop blaring out of it.

She smiles at me when the doors close and I say, you know, not everyone wants to listen to that shit.

She doesn’t reply so I go on, thinking she no speak Engrish: I mean, if you’re going to listen to something, you could at least make it good. Why does everyone who listens to music on their phone only listen to shit?

The girl looks down at her screen and I say: well, are you going to turn it off?

The lift stops, the doors slide open and the girl gets out. Another girl is waiting. The first girl says, you’re right. He is a dick.

I hit the door open button, and say, hold on, what did you say?

The first girl repeats, you’re a…