WARNING: MATURE TOPIC …
Being Mental Health Awareness Month all of May, and even though this my Book and Reading Den, my Special Guest, a Poet, and Writer needed to be shared here as well as my recovery blog as this poem “touched me” to my core and “being.”
I am a sexual trauma and abuse survivor, no shame in saying so as it happened to me as a little girl and as a young teen. I don’t share much of that side of my life still.
I have only begun sharing and speaking about my Mental Health challenges over and above my advocacy work from my gambling addiction and recovery. When I read this poem by Lolly though? It speaks of how I felt and at times, still today. Even though the topic is dark, I couldn’t have written it any more beautifully than Lolly has done.
Poetry is another form of writing to heal and “Expression.”
HOPE for BELOVED CHILD of SORROW and PAIN Poem
Courtesy of Lolly – Self Harm Ends – Blogspot.
I hope love and joy within lives anew.
I’ve suffered soul-murder, rendering me askew.
I was buried alive under guilt, blame and shame
My soul fatally wounded, and seriously maimed.
Being an adult-child and a child-adult,
I pray to intuitively find a way out!
From doomed to exist in sorrow and pain,
With hope over doubt it was not all in vain.
Let the black cloud lift and dissipate
May I take my life back none too late.
How deep does it go?
…All throughout, and from head to toe.
No one knows how I feel, but my Lord.
We are healing the pain from the sword.
Wounded clear through my vital core,
Not yet healed, it’s open and sore!
Being sad makes me tear, yet to survive I delay,
I hope to take time to feel, another day.
Carrying pain in my heart all these years,
Makes me wonder through the river of tears,
Why have I dearly hung on to it so?
Seemingly reluctant just to let it all go.
Betrayed by those who since have long gone,
Yet with me still lingers, a familiar song.
An endless song of grief, sorrow, and pain.
No lasting friendships nor love did I gain.
I’ve only myself now, and long to be free
From living with sorrow, pain, and misery.
I pray to “gift-away” my pain and survive,
To be left with that I need to revive.
I’m learning to love self and let go of hate.
There’s no real reason to procrastinate.
Letting it go doesn’t mean I don’t care.
Without all that sorrow, pain and despair,
There’d be more room for life and joy in there!
I’m a child of God and of the Light.
I am willing to do what is right.
Perhaps God fancies knowing I too love Him.
Thinking about love now, causes me to grin.
Knowing God cares, puts a smile in my heart,
Broken no more, never shall we part!
Soul Murder Victim