OK, I Just Have To Write About It! “Mental Illness & Guns”

Hello and Welcome Readers & Friends,

 

Now many of you know I suffer from a few mental health issues and disorders, so when I seen this story on the web, I thought to myself,…..hhhhmmm, “Is this going to be another story of undiagnosed mental illness of a mother going ROGUE and killing her children? Even though this is my writers blog, I also write about mental illness and childhood abuse here too, because writing is writing no matter what the topic. So here is what I read on the web this morning..

MOTHER Held on suspicion of killing of 3 daughters…( Courtesy Of The AP )
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Los Angeles County sheriff's deputies block off the scene of a triple homicide that occurred in the unincorporated area of Los Angeles, Calif., on Tuesday, May 20, 2014.: Los Angeles County sheriff's deputies block off the scene of a triple homicide that occurred in the unincorporated area of Los Angeles, Calif., on Tuesday, May 20, 2014.
AP Photo: Steve McCrank, The Daily Breeze Los Angeles County sheriff’s deputies block off the scene of a triple homicide that occurred in the unincorporated area of Los Angeles, Calif., on Tuesday, May 20, 2014.

TORRANCE, Calif. (AP) — A mother was arrested Tuesday on suspicion of killing her three young daughters, the youngest only 2 months old, authorities said.

Los Angeles County sheriff’s deputies were called to an unincorporated area near this Los Angeles suburb shortly after 5 p.m., a Sheriff’s Department statement said.

“When they arrived, they were met by family members who told the deputies that a mother had killed her children,” the statement said.

Deputies found three girls, a 3-year-old, 2-year-old and 2-month-old. They were pronounced dead at the scene.

“The deputies were directed to the house by the grandmother,” sheriff’s homicide Lt. Dave Coleman told the Daily Breeze of Torrance (http://bit.ly/1lNJP1U). “We did find the babies inside the residence.”

Carol Coronado, 30, was arrested on suspicion of murder, taken to a hospital for examination and then to a sheriff’s station for booking. Authorities say she made no statement.

Neighbor Ashley Madrid told the Daily Breeze that the children’s father was working on his car across the street when his mother-in-law discovered her daughter and the three children in a pool of blood on a bed.

“I saw when they were bringing him out,” Madrid said. “He was crying. He was crying, ‘She killed my daughters!'”

Madrid said she was told the mother had a kitchen knife in her hand and was trying to cut her wrists.

Sheriff’s deputies took the mother, who was naked except for a blanket, to a patrol car and she was then placed in an ambulance, Madrid said.

“She was full of blood on her face and arms,” Madrid said.

Madrid said the children’s grandmother told her that, ” the woman had called earlier in the day and said that she was going crazy.”

So I ask the question again? Will this be another mental illness killing?
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See, those who struggle with mental illness like myself,  this is a topic that needs to be talked about, written about, and blogged about in order to ‘Raise Awareness’ of how broken our mental health services & systems are in this country! I advocate, and I speak out, and write about this. I blogged a while back here on my blog about the difference of mental health services I’m receiving here in Arizona, compared to the services I was getting back in So. Oregon where I relocated from due to my husband’s job 8 months ago. In Oregon, my primary care doctor handled all my mental health services, screenings, and my meds. But here in Arizona, the law requires, due to health insurance requirements, that mental health services need to be handled not by the primary doctor, but through a Mental Health & Behavioral Center with a psychiatrist and therapy councilor. They monitor my meds, progress, and help with life skills, and they send all info to my new primary doctor here. They handle all my evaluations, blood work, and more.

So I wonder why other states can’t do the same? Arizona should be a model of ‘How Right They Have Mental Health Services” in this country. And to take it one step farther, I feel the government could use the ‘DATABASE’ of the states mental health systems, if they were modeled after Arizona’s, to then use it for a form of screening of NO GUNS or weapons allowed to be sold to those under current care by a doctor with mental or emotional illness & disorders. It may just cut down all the tragic loss of life by suicides, and less loss of innocent by standers getting killed in the process by people who are mentally ill. Yes, I’m very aware of “The People’s Rights to Bare Arms” as the constitution ~ 5th amendment gives them that right, but I feel it should not give that right to a person who is mentally ill. And I do believe these past few years of tragic loss of life by GUNS PROVES this POINT.

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I mean come on now,….lets BE REAL about this issue and problem! For those who want to stick to ‘The Right To Bare Arms NO MATTER WHAT,’  let me ask you this? If your loved one was mentally ill, would you go purchase a gun and let them have it in good conscience? Would you? How about if your child or spouse was in the wrong place at the wrong time, and a person shot them in a mentally ill or suicidal rage and taken from you? I think you’d seen the other side of the coin, that’s what I think. What about all the families and ones who have already died because of this scenario, from these tragic shootings of late? Would you still let a mentally ill person buy a gun? I think I made my point. Look, I’m not down on people protecting their property and families with having guns for protection, that’s a No Brainer!

What I do advocate for, is those who have mental health illness & issues should NOT.
It’s just that SIMPLE…..
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I guess only time will tell when we here about the facts behind what made this woman want to kill 3 innocent children. In the meantime? I will continue to write, blog, share, advocate, raise awareness, and help Shatter The STIGMA of Mental & Emotional illness & STILL NO GUNS PERIOD….

God Bless All,
Author, Catherine Townsend-Lyon
http://www.amazon.com/dp/0984478485

 

“Holy Great Expectations”! ~ A Daily Prompt Post

Hello Writer Friends, And Welcome New Readers,

 

Great Expectations

Tell us about one thing (or more) that you promised yourself you’d accomplish by the end of the year. How would you feel once you do? What if you don’t?
http://dailypost.wordpress.com/dp_prompt/great-expectations/

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Has there ever been a time in your life that you had big plans, or maybe some Great Expectations  of goals to accomplish today, tomorrow, or even this year? Well when you live with Bipolar Depression, PTSD, and Agoraphobia with Panic disorder, it’s even harder to accomplish those life goals,….BUT ONLY IF YOU LET!
I refuse to be a victim, nor do I let my mental disabilities hamper me from reaching for the stars! And accomplish my “Dreams & Goals.”

I remember how I felt when my current book got picked up by a publisher, and my expectations for the book being put out into the world as the next NY Times best seller! Man did that expectation pop in an instant. LOL. But, it did get published So I was excited when I got the first copy of my paperback book in my grubby little hands, that I did a Happy Dance of a bunny hopping around after drinking a Red Bull!! There are no words to describe the feelings of accomplishment. So one bucket list goal off my life list, and now two more to go! But this time around, writing seems to be taken me a wee bit longer to get these two books written and finished. The honeymoon period of my first book is over, and now the hard work has been almost done with the next two, but I’m having a hard time getting my endings down and done so to hopefully get them out by this late fall. Another Great Expectation.

Many know I also live life in recovery from addicted gambling & alcohol consumption for over 7 years now, and you have no idea how many great expectations we have in recovery, especially in early recovery when we get some clean time and then have a lapse, or relapse.
It’s like disappointment after disappointment. Expectations take on a whole new meaning. Not until we do the work on the inside of ourselves can we begin to recover. Our loved ones also seem to put many expectations on us when we are in recovery. That can be hard on us who are trying to stay recovered. But my point in this is that when we live “In The Moment,” and “One Day At A Time,” in recovery and in life, not only can we meet all our expectations, but we are actually LIVING OUR LIFE! Stress, worries, thinking about yesterday or tomorrow will not let our expectations happen, as we are not focused on today, in this very moment in time, to be in the now!

Learning this in recovery and in treatment & therapy has enabled me to accomplish most all of my great expectations so far. Again, when my first book came out, it truly was a work of a power greater than myself. All I did was let the powers at be guide me when the words of my book came pouring out of my heart and soul into white paper with lines. Yes, I wrote all my words to my book by hand in 5 notebooks of paper, and 2 pencils. Once I started writing I could not stop until all the terrible, ugly, darkness I went through with my addiction was all out of my soul. Until I felt I could actually see on paper with my own two eyes. Then?…..That was that.|

That part of my life was over. Made my amends to myself. That was Jan. 2011, and on Nov 26, 2012 on my 50th birthday I had my very first published book in my hands. I felt like one blessed girl. I can’t tell you how many blessings given, and how many doors have opened since then.
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One of the biggest, hugest, greatest expectations of my life had just transpired. What’s the moral of my story? Never give up on those Great Expectations of life. Always shoot for the stars! No matter how long it may take you to achieve what you want in life, always know we all have it inside us to do what ever we want. May God Bless You with all your Great Expectations in Life!
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Author, Catherine Townsend-Lyon

My Special Guest Post~”Bipolar Valentine”~By “Nectar Madness”~Part 3….

Hello Recovery Friends, Seekers, and Welcome New Visitors,
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For those of you who have read my new friend “Nectar Madness” at http://nectarmadness.com   3 part series of “Bipolar Valentine,” here on my blog, I wanted to share part 3 of her series about life with Bipolar. It is a wonderful and thought-provoking series for those of us who suffer, and for those who want a little insight into how we face daily living challenges, and the *Stigma* we face,…..A LOT.
She has written it in a kind of sexy way. Lets face it, just because we may have mental or emotional disorders, we are still “Human Beings” who have feeling, and we deserve LOVE TOO!
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Part 3 really seemed to fit and hit home for me. My husband and I have been together for 26 1/2 years, and this September 29th we will “CELEBRATE” our 25th wedding anniversary!! And OMG have we been through a lot. We have learned with me having undiagnosed Bipolar, with manic depression, Panic with Agoraphobia, OCD, and AADD, it has at times put a strain on our marriage. Not to mention my what I put him through with my Compulsive Gambling Addiction that I’ve been in recovery as well for 7 years.
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But through all those “Trials & Tribulations,” we have loved each other even Harder, and learned that “TOGETHER” we can weather ANY STORM!! Yes, I know I’m a very Blessed Woman to have found such a MAN!!! I tell him that EVERYDAY!…..So here is part 3:
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Bipolar Valentine Part 3: In Sickness and Health, Mania and Depression….

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I love you. I hate you. I want you. Don’t touch me. Marriage and bipolar. Is it a toxic combination? According to NAMI, statistically 90% of marriages with at least one bipolar spouse will end in divorce. That is a sobering number. You can’t deny that it’s a bit discouraging to those not yet married, and scary for those of us who are. So before we go any further, let’s ask- is there even a point? Absolutely.
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It is possible for people with bipolar disorder to endure successful long-term romantic relationships, and even marriage. There are many factors involved because every individual and every relationship is different. What works for one couple may not work for another, and vice versa.
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Factors to consider:
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One factor to consider is the time of diagnosis. While the symptoms are usually present for a period of time, we all know getting that official diagnosis makes a difference. It provides an answer and treatment options, as well as a name for what is going on. (I don’t like the term “label”). For several couples, the diagnosis comes years into their marriage. They receive the news together and unless they’ve already suspected BP, it is brand new information. What usually happens in these cases is a sense of relief, followed by frustration, and a new sense of responsibility. Changes must be made in the everyday routine.
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Other couples have it a little bit differently when the person was diagnosed prior to their union. In this instance, the non-bipolar partner entered the relationship knowing something was unique about it. In my last segment, Bipolar Valentine Part 2: Adventures in Dating, I discussed how to tell your new partner about your BP diagnosis, and about my own experience with my wife. Both types of couples face challenges.
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“Following a diagnosis, the first and most dominant response from a spouse usually is sympathy, says David A. Karp, professor of sociology at Boston College and author of The Burden of Sympathy: How Families Cope with Mental Illness (Oxford University Press, 2002). “But further down the road, a spouse may experience emotions they don’t think they should be having—anger, frustration, and even hate.”
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Indeed, caring for someone who has a mental illness can be more draining than caring for someone with cancer, says Dr. Karp. When a spouse does something for a mate with a physical illness, they are usually met with gratitude. People who have bipolar disorder, however, often deny the diagnosis, are unwilling to comply with medication, and—worst of all— treat one’s spouse like the enemy.”
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Another factor to consider is if there are any children in the picture. Since bipolar disorder has ups and downs that can be unpredictable or inconsistent, it is especially vital to double up the top priorities to both the bipolar spouse’s needs as well as the children’s needs. Kids should never feel like the mood swings are their fault. And in reality, sometimes the hustle and bustle around the house is what triggers an episode. It is important to have a strong partnership with your spouse when you are not functioning at your best so the kiddos will have stability.
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How can we make it for the long haul?
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I give my wife a splintering headache every single time I go hypomanic or full-blown manic. I lie about my meds. I drink. I stay out all night. I argue with her. I hate sleep. I become very self-involved. And I no doubt make her feel like shit. When I get depressed, she can’t get me out of bed. I ignore my responsibilities and don’t even care. I know she knows when my patterns will start. I know she goes through hell. But…we make it. We get through it and carry on. Have we come close to ending it all? Oh hell yeah we have. But chose to work really hard instead. Here are a few tips that really work.
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“I swear by education. Read about bipolar disorder and have your spouse do the same.” One book I recommend is Loving Someone with Bipolar Disorder, by Julie Fast.
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Finding the right doctor, usually a psychiatrist, is imperative. Make sure your partner joins you so he/she can become acquainted with your doctor in case of any future emergencies. A good doctor is someone who listens to you, addresses your concerns, and explains the recommended course of treatment. Both of you having a good relationship with your doctor is important for your relationship with your spouse.
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Other factors in your treatment include the right med cocktail, and any support groups you join. It is mandatory to get your partner on board with all of it. This is one thing that has held my marriage together these last 7 years. My wife is my medication manager and during my rough times, she sorts and distributes it for me. Even when I’m able to administer it to myself, she is my daily reminder of when I’m supposed to take it. Without her, I know I’d forget or choose to not take my pills. Without the pills, I’d be a hot freaking mess! She also encourages me to attend my bi-weekly support group.
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One of the absolute most important things in a bipolar marriage is having rules. Yes, rules suck. But in this case, rules are the glue holding the package together. Establish grounds for when to call the doctor, to disclose suicidal thoughts, to have your partner notify you of red flags, when to go to the hospital, to communicate your triggers, and a commonly broken rule- to always take your medication! In my house, my wife has given me the medication ultimatum that if I refuse to take it, she will pack up herself and our son, and go stay somewhere else. That thought kills me. So I stay motivated to comply.
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My last biggie is communication. More specifically, speaking the language of bipolar. Make it clear what “highs” and “lows” are and what things you might verbalize differently in each of these states. This way there is no cause for alarm if you are transitioning moods.
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Enough of the technical stuff, where’s the love?
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I can’t say this enough do not make your bipolar the center of your relationship! For any marriage, with or without mental illness, it is important to nurture the relationship in order for it to grow. It’s just like any living thing. If you stop feeding it, it wilts and dies. The bipolar is just a part of it. Your relationship consists of many other parts. Give these a try!
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Re-examine your core values and what brought you two together in the first place.
Carve out some time in your busy lives for a date night.
Have passionate sex.
Laugh together.
Go on a road trip.
Renew your vows
Say “I love you” often.
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If you haven’t already, check out the first two parts of this series, Bipolar Valentine Part 1: Is It Love or Just Bipolar?  and Bipolar Valentine Part 2: Adventures in Dating.
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*I want to Thank “Nectar Madness” for letting me share all 3 parts with my readers. So for those of you who have Bipolar, I feel it really is important to have “Family & Spouse Support”! It truly makes a difference. I say this because my hubby and I experienced a loss of his older sister to “intentional prescription overdose/Suicide” because she didn’t have the support of her husband. He didn’t believe in, or want her to take “Bipolar Meds” to help her. He never was a very supportive husband to her for years, and last year she took all her Bipolar meds at once and passed of an intentional overdose. I don’t mean to share something so extreme, but it really makes a BIG difference to the person, like myself who suffer, for people not to treat US like were NOT NORMAL….
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God Bless All,
Author, Catherine Townsend-Lyon